Ronald Koeman expressed his frustration as Southampton went down to a 2-1 defeat to relegation-battlers Sunderland.
Sunderland took a 21st-minute lead at the Stadium of Light when Jordi Gomez dispatched his first spot-kick after Jose Fonte had caught striker Danny Graham in the face with a flailing boot.
The hosts, however, squandered their advantage within seconds as goalkeeper Costel Pantilimon collided with defenders Sebastian Coates and John O'Shea to present Sadio Mane with the easiest of chances to level.
Gomez was handed a second opportunity from 12 yards out 10 minutes after the break when James Ward-Prowse bundled Jermain Defoe to the ground and was promptly sent off, and he accepted it with equal composure.
It proved a sobering afternoon on Wearside for Koeman as his hopes of securing European football were dealt a blow.
He said: "We didn't reach our level, and I'm frustrated about that. But it's strange that with one player less on the pitch, we showed our football and we showed our qualities, and before not.
"We made too many mistakes in our ball position. The first 10 minutes after half-time was very poor and out of that situation came one of the penalties and the red card, and then you know it's difficult.
"Then with one player less, we were the better team and the dominant team, and that's difficult to understand.
"In my opinion, it's not about spirit, about ambition. My criticism to the players is not about what they did and what they tried to do.
"My criticism today is about our level in our ball position. Normally it's much better than today, and that was the reason and not the referee.
"Sunderland put everything in -- that's normal in the situation they are in -- but I expect much more of the team than we saw today."